Why This Blog

My name is Meshell and I have decided to create this blog to contain my thoughts and communications to my “disconnected” son, Jeremy Andrew Powers.

I know that sounds strange, and it is really.

See, about 23 years ago I got involved with the Church of Scientology.  For most of those 23 years it was my life and sole direction – as they call it – “to get up the Bridge”.   But in early 2010 I discovered things about the church that I had previously not known or realized.  After a very thorough research I came to the conclusion that the “hidden” side of the church was indeed bad.  I found an alarming amount of facts that clearly illuminated the fact that the current corporate entity known as the “Church of Scientology” is corrupt from the top and is no longer “pure”.

It was crystal clear that the CoS had severly strayed from the core of what the founder set in motion, there was no doubt.  This organization, in the name of help and with the misapplication of the tech and policy, is ripping lives apart.  I would be an accessory to this travisty to continue to support it any longer.  The only thing to do was to withdraw my support.

I honestly believe that any current, sane church member, doing the same exact research that I did would have the same final conclusions.  In fact, thousands of others have come to this conclusion in the last 6-10 years.  Many are or should I say, “were” very upstanding members and highest contributors, who decided they could no longer support such a corrupt organization, one that is hiding behind a veil of doing good.

But most just turn the other cheek and don’t look, or keep their opinions secret because they too would have their lives ripped apart if they spoke up or told the church they were withdrawing their support.  How you ask?  All their friends & family being coached to disconnect from them, lest they not be allowed inside!

The whole story of how this all came about, what I found and ultimately what I did about it is written up at http://littledoubt.wordpress.com/ .  If you want to know the full and true side of that story, go there to read it.  You will find that the church published false data about me to the others to ensure that I looked bad.  You will see it was written in a distorted way to seem like I did things that I actually did not do, but you’d assume I did.  This was all used so that I could be labeled as a “suppressive person” and shunned.

You will find out that my decision to leave was not sudden (as in a “sudden departure” as LRH describes “blowing”).  You will clearly see I did not “blow”, but made a very deliberate and difficult decision and carried through, keeping my personal integrity high.

I paid a hefty price for applying personal integrity.  I lost my son.


Well, the church let him know that if he did not DISCONNECT from all communication with me he could not associate with anyone in good standing with the church nor could he go into the church and have any services – it would appear he felt he was left with no choice but to sever all ties to me.  To make the decision even harder, he was pressured by his girlfriend, Sarah Coziahr, and she let him know that they couldn’t have a relationship unless he did this.  Funny, Sarah’s own mom is an EX Scientologist and she isn’t disconnected from her.

So, dispite the fact that my relationship with Jeremy had always been VERY close – he closed the door on my existence on Oct 24th, 2010.  I have not heard a single hello since then.

Christmas came and went, nothing.  My birthday came and went, nothing.  Mother’s Day came and went, nothing.  The pain I feel is real.  The resentment toward the church is more than you can imagine……I am using this blog to communicate my thoughts and feelings…….

19 responses to this post.

  1. Meshell, I am so proud of you speaking up against the disconnection policy that is destroying so many families!


    • Thank you. I truly wish I didn’t have to. Honestly I would rather just move on and not look back. I’d surely have my attention on on way more uptone things!


  2. Well, it depends on the point of view…I see you in Action…and if it helps or makes you feel good doing this, then more power to you 🙂

    My friends Grace and Ken Aaron also lost a child to the culr 15 years ago. Here is their website:



  3. Posted by David J Mudkips on November 17, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    I found this blog via the Tweeter @DatumOmNom

    Three years in to this conflict, and simple testimony continues to be one of the most powerful weapons in exposing the abuses of this criminal cult.

    With your permission, I would like to publicise your blog on some critic messageboards – It may be that someone lurking there knows Jeremy, or can give you additional insight into ways to reach your son. If nothing else, your story deserves to reach a wider audience, and I am certain you would find support.

    You have my email address if you wish to communicate futher.


  4. David, I’m so happy you found this blog and you have my full permission to publicize it anywhere. People need to know! People need to realize it probably does have something to do with them, because they could easily be affected by it happening to their life…


  5. Posted by Bob Gravlin on September 21, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    Thanks for taking the time to post these things. I have followed COS for awhile and have been more interested since the Tom,, Kat breakup. Thank God she had the good sense to get her daughter out of that what I call the “Little Gulag”.
    I believe, just like the former Soviet Union was at least partly broken down by sharing the facts, every attempt to bring this evil into the light may help people beside yourself.


    • Thank you so much for the viewpoint. I’m sad to report that next month it will have been 2 years since Jeremy has spoke to me. I don’t know how I feel about this. Some days I think I deserved this. After all, it was me, originally, who got in the cult.


  6. Meshell – it is NOT your fault. The cult of Scientology uses mind control methods to trap everyone in and not let them out! Shunning is part of the trap – it is evil and the Cult of Scientology is going down because of the crimes and harm they do to everyone. That is what the cult of Scientology is hoping for – that you blame yourself. Well, don’t do it – the truth is – the Cult of Scientology is an evil trap that destroys lives and families – don’t let them. They won’t be around much longer – running out of money and no new people coming into their Idle Orgs! You will get your son back soon – he won’t be able to stand it!


    • I appreciate your comments! Sometimes just getting an ack on this blog helps because it completes the communication cycle for me! I know that is weird, but I have absolutely no indication that Jeremy has ever read the blog, and I’m fairly certain he hasn’t as he is happier with his “head in the sand”. I miss him so much. I hope you’re right, and I hope it goes down, I just don’t see it happening. I figure when Jeremy is 30 something his maturity level will come in……


    • You know, truthfully, if I had not lead my children into Scientology I would not be in this particular position today. I don’t know how else to look at this. Thank you for your support.


  7. Don’t ever for a second think that what you are doing is weird. This is love in one of its truest forms. I am so sorry that you have to endure this. Thank you for raising your voice. The more people that raise their voices and share their stories the more the more light we shine on this criminal organization. The movement is growing and their foundations are weakening. Stay strong. And keep writing your son.


    • Thank you. I live with hope every day that something will change. I look at the crimes committed against those who left and see nothing has changed in 30 years, but there wasn’t the internet all that time either, so I have a lot of hope!! I go up and I go down.


  8. Hi, Meshell. I too, would like to put a link to this site on my own site, http://poet13c.wordpress.com/ if I may, please.
    Richard Kaminski


  9. Posted by Katniss Everdeen on July 4, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    Congratulations and happy Independence Day 2014 Jeremy! Welcome to Total Freedom!


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