Happy Birthday Jeremy


Wow it’s really hard to imagine my baby boy is 22 years old!  I wonder if you feel old?  Funny, when you are actually so young compared to a long life.

I hope your birthday will be fun this year.  I can at least be grateful you are alive, even though it doesn’t seem like it.  No matter how I feel on a day-to-day basis, I will always love you.  Till the day I die.

Here is a birthday video for you.  I think it’s funny.

Jeremy, I think about you every day.  Sometimes I have happy thoughts but mostly I’m just sad that you are not part of my life.  These things are not easier as time goes on.  This will be the second birthday I have not been allowed to spend with you.

Here’s a Birthday gift for you.  It’s a piece of wisdom.  (Something Jeff Hawkins wrote on his blog a couple years ago:

peek(Jeff Hawkins)  I’m always fascinated by the Church of Scientology’s obsession with “external influences.” At the Int Base, any “bad attitude,” doubt or criticism was always blamed on some “eternal influence,” whether a family member, friend, news story or whatever. One had to be constantly on guard against these insidious, evil  external  influences.

In a broad, non-Scientology sense, an “external influence” would be anything outside of yourself that could influence your opinions or attitudes. Family, friends, TV programs, newspapers, internet sites, political or social groups and, yes, religious groups, could all be considered to act as “external influences” on a person.

So what the Church is really saying is “we want to be your only external influence.” “We want to be the only ones who influence your opinions or viewpoints.”

In other words, they want to isolate you.  In fact, one of the definitions of “isolate” in the American Heritage dictionary is “to render free of external influence.”


As Eric Hoffer points out in his book, The True Believer, “All active mass movements strive…to interpose a fact-proof screen between the faithful and the realities of the world. They do this by claiming that the ultimate and absolute truth is already embodied in their doctrine and that there is no truth or certitude outside it. The facts on which the true believer bases his conclusions must not be derived from his experience or observation but from holy writ…To rely on the evidence of the senses and of reason is heresy and treason.”  (Jeremy, does this sound familiar?)

Steven Hassan says in Combatting Cult Mind Control:

“Information is the fuel we use to keep our minds working properly, Deny a person the information he requires to make sound judgments, and he will be incapable of doing so. People are trapped in destructive cults because they are not only denied access to critical information but also lack the properly functioning internal mechanisms to process it.”

He adds: “Most importantly, people are told to avoid contact with ex-members or critics. Those who could provide the most information are the ones to be especially shunned.”

Two things to remember:

1. If someone is trying to isolate you from certain sources of information, they are trying to control your information.

2. Information control is mind control.


I wonder if you ever sneak out to this blog and read what I have to say.  I’d think probably not because you know that you’d be in so much trouble from Scientology!  It’s information that you are not allowed to have without it causing you “insider” trouble.  I’m sure you couldn’t confront it anyway.  I’m obviously way too much evil for Saint Scientologists, such as you and Sarah.

I miss you tremendously.

I know Scientology tells you that your family is evil because we no longer believe that Scientology is what we thought, and we had the courage and personal integrity to say what we thought.  Amazing.  You know we are not really evil (suppressive people).  Deep in my heart I know that you know we are all good and ethical people who are simply being discriminated against by a “religion”.

Through history
the most monstrous crimes on this planet
have been committed by and in the name of
(Even fake religions!)  

Do you ever cry when you miss us?  Did you need me when your dad died a few months ago?  Do you have any idea how much I needed you then?  Did it matter?  I realize it didn’t matter, because truthfully it’s ultimately all about you!

Oh my god, all this pain and sadness we’ve all been through – why?  Because it was ALL about you and what you wanted, the whole time.  How selfish.

Wow, what a new perspective!

I’m grinning now because I bet you think it is because you are “in ethics” and “in line” with Scientology and think you’re being so ethical by sticking with their command to exclude all your family from your life as if we are all dead!

I wonder how you’ll feel when you die and have the ultimate realization that it was all bullshit and you shunned us for nothing!?  You can never get this time back Jeremy, it’s just gone.

Ugh, one of the reasons I don’t write very often is because I get so pissed off.  I find myself having hateful thoughts, like hoping you have to feel the same pain of losing a child someday.  I’m sure tomorrow I’ll feel better, I hope.

Happy Birthday Jeremy.  I do love you, but the pain is sometimes overwhelming.


Love Always,
Your Mom,


4 responses to this post.

  1. I love you, girl!


  2. Posted by Susan Poche' on February 6, 2013 at 4:33 pm

    Oh Mother. I weep so much my eyes have melted. I will hope with you for reconnection – it just MUST BE a possibility.


    • Thank you, each and every day I try to figure out a way. It’s really sad when the only way I can see a possibility is for the girl to come down with some fatal disease. Sad too, because I know for sure I’d love her as a wife for Jeremy!! I’m sure she’d be a great daughter-in-law without all that influence. Sad. Makes me sooooo sad. I created my family for my future family too.


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