Archive for February, 2012

Mardi Gras in St. Louis

My Jeremy – do I even need to say I miss you?  I’m sure you must know.  Some days are great and some are not….. I’m doing my absolute best to just stay happy and not think about you in a sad way.  I was so hoping you would secretly call me.  Ugh don’t even let me go to this subject.  Who would ever believe that in the 21st century a religion would rip families apart and demand that you act as if your family is dead?  Enough of that, sorry…..this post is for fun news!!

I wanted to share our Mardi Gras with you.  I had never been to the St. Louis, Soulard Mardi Gras (party) parade and this year Jim and I decided we would go with Jayson & Christine.  It was really tough making the decision to go, lol, because I had to get up at 6am on a Saturday morning in order to be in our private spot before the streets were shut down, not to mention it was a very chilly start!  Turns out it was a bit adventurous but it turned out really awesome and the array of food Christine cooked up was yummy, fattening and hit the spot – hey, we even had our own private bathrooms (job Johnnie) LOL…..Christine really knows how to put on a great party, for sure.

For me it was neat seeing that most the people who were invited to our “private” party were close to our age.   I met a lot of new people and I can’t begin to tell you how cool it is creating a brand new life – all new friends!  Jim and I have discovered really wonderful people and I’m so happy to report that their friendship is not contingent upon us agreeing with their church or not.  I’m totally serious, Jeremy, most people do not look down at others if they don’t believe as they do.

Yep, we started drinking around 10am and since I had not drank much alcohol in the last few years, it wasn’t long for me to feel a happy-go-lucky buzz.  I never did get “drunk”, but just a buzz and had a great time.  Jim drank a beer and a half and became the designated driver!

I had a spot right by the street where the parade went by and Jim was there catching beads for me and this was a good thing, because I’m pretty sure I would not have caught but two the whole time!!  There was a guy next to me that jumped out and caught every single one that they were throwing directly to me.  God I wasn’t happy with him!

We ended up getting a ton of beads and felt rewarded for our efforts for getting out of bed so early on Saturday!!   I really had a great time.

The parade was over 2 hours long!  Holy crap, I have never ever been to a parade that was that long!  Amazing for sure.

I do believe we will go again next year.  Maybe things will be different by then and you and Sarah could go with us!  Heck, let’s just make it a party and have Heather, Travis and Brittany too!

I hope you ended up having an awesome birthday this year.  I haven’t heard a single thank you…..but I suppose you were thankful.  🙂  I know it’s Sarah’s bday tomorrow – so Happy Birthday to Sarah too.

Love you Dearly, and miss you just as much.


Happy 21st Birthday – My Jeremy Andrew Powers

I hope you have a great birthday!!!  The 21st birthday is one of those milestone birthdays!

You should ask your dad about his 21st…..(grinning).

I remember when you were born….on February 3, 1991, twenty-one years ago.

While looking through some stuff,
I ran across something I wrote for you,
Dated Jan 5, 1991
This is your own special Birth Story 

     “Dear Baby – this is the beginning of a new phase in Danny & Meshell’s life together.  Well, sort of the beginning.
Mommy & Daddy have about 4 weeks left to meet you and yes, your mommy is SO ready!  I make jokes to Daddy about going to the hospital for an early withdrawal!!! I admit I grumble & gripe a lot, but this last 1.5 months is pretty tough on mommy’s body.  I can’t even tie my own shoes!!  Amazing how big I am.

 (NOTE: Look at that 80’s look there….the shirt is cute, it says “Dieters Excuses” and there is a list of reasons and I’m very pregnant!)    The doctors tell us that we should be expecting a Jeremy (a boy) and I’m thinking if he’s wrong and we have a girl, we’ll sure be in trouble in the clothes department!!  HaHa.  SO, my precious, if you’re a boy your name will be Jeremy Andrew Powers.  If someone was wrong and you’re a girl, your name will be Heather.  We haven’t decided on a middle name yet, but I sure like “Heather Lynn”.  (NOTE: that 3.5 years later your beautiful sister, Heather Rene’, was born).

     On my last doctor’s appointment on Jan 2,  – the doctor told me your little head was engaged now and the birth process was beginning.  He said anytime from now forward that you can safely be born.  Listening intently, she said you have a really strong heart beat.

Your big brother, Travis, keeps asking me if I’ve got the baby out of my belly yet.  He sure has trouble figuring that one out!  Being a little over 3.5 years old, I don’t think he’ll remember it much, but I still hope he can be there to see you being born.

Last night, January 4, in fact, most of the day, I had a lot of pretty hard contractions, and I was really pretty excited that you were on your way!  But is doesn’t seem to be so.  These things are so hard to predict.  I just can’t wait to hold you!!

I intend to write periodically about our experiences until you’re born, since I’m up real late at night now-a-days.  I just can’t sleep much, but the house sure is clean!  haha, it’s totally clean.

February 2, I’m still here with you in my belly!  I haven’t written much over the last month, but there’s just something about tonight.   Tonight seems different.  This morning when I woke up I noticed the “pink show”.

(10:23 pm 20 sec mild contraction)

Daddy and I were pretty excited about it and made sure that we didn’t go anywhere without our suitcase in the car!  We are just so anxious to meet you, see you and  have you here in our arms.    As for me, physically, I’m exhausted and miserable!

(10:25pm 30 sec moderate contraction)

I’m having more contractions now, and that’s why I’m noting the contraction length and intensity, but probably just for the heck of it, as it seems I’ve had so many false labor contractions.  I want so much for this to be the time, but these contractions could very well be the same old false things.  I don’t remember having so many of them with Travis.  But Ido certainly feel like the time is VERY near.

(10:29pm oops contraction)

I had my last doctor’s visit last Wednesday Jan 30, 91 – with Dr. Glover.  He said he wanted to induce labor on Tuesday February 5 if you haven’t been born yet.  Gee, I recall Travis was born via a C-Section after about 9 hours of hard intense and induced labor!!!!  Oh my god, that was bad.  Dr. Glover said I should try to go in and have you naturally.  I agree, but at the same time I decided I didn’t want to put you through induced labor and traumatize you, then to end up going C-Section anyway.  That was hard on Travis and it isn’t fair to do you that way too.

(10:32pm 55 sec moderate contraction)  

Anyway, I told him no, that we should just go in for a c-section and get it over with and not put you through it.  He agreed that would be fine and set the date for February 5th at 1:30pm.  I’m suppose to go in at 9am to get ready.  Oh god, it’s getting close!

(10:34pm 30 sec mild)

     My plan is to have you before then!!!  Come on sweetheart, let’s get this show on the road!!!!

(10:36pm 35 sec mild contraction)

As you can see by my timing on the this journal, these probably aren’t the real thing either….they are not uniform enough.  Dr. Glover told me, after I asked him what could I do to make this go faster, that I should rub my nipples with a wet wash cloth 3 times a day for 20 minutes (holy hell!!).  He said it was the only proven scientific way to speed up labor, because that sort of stimulation releases oxytocin into the bloodstream, which causes contractions.  Oh my god!  Really?

(10:39pm 60 sec moderate contraction)

So I did that tonight, and a few times the previous nights too – but tonight I started it at 9:28pm and ended at 9:48pm – so these contractions could have been started by me!

(10:42pm 60 sec moderate contraction)

It’s really hard to know anything, I know they sure aren’t regular and you are moving around in my belly like crazy.

Well, sweetie maybe tonight is the night or maybe not, but I think I’ll just stop timing them now and lay down and try to get some sleep.  Oh you’re not off the hook though little boy, I still want you to arrive very soon!! – I’ll write a little later.

A LITTLE LATER:  I just wanted to make this comment.

(10:58pm HARDER)

I know it’s sorta gross, but I just had some diarrhea and before that I had a bowel movement (I know, gross, right?).  I’m not sure really why this seems significant but I think because it would be odd to have it in that order.  I wish I had kept a record my first time through this (with Travis) so I could have compared.

(11:04pm 30 sec STRONG but short contraction)

Oh well, not sure if it was significant or not, but when I came back to bed I had a pretty tough contraction.  Ok, I’m not feeling well now, so I”m going to stop writing.  I love you already!!
     FEBRUARY 3rd 1991 – Guess what!!  That long long wait is finally over!!!  At last.

Let me tell you all about it.  When I stopped writing to you, your daddy and I tried to lay down to go to sleep, but I couldn’t because of contractions.  Just very distracting, but definitely getting closer together at about 17 minutes apart up until around 11:54pm.  Then they started coming 7 to 10 minutes apart.  Some were pretty strong, compared to earlier, some weren’t as strong.  By 12:45am (Feb 3) the contractions were about 3-5 minutes apart and I saw the plug come out.  I had a bit more diarrhea.  Ouch……and by 1am I knew this must be the real thing!

I called your grandma (she wants to be called “nanny”) and I told her that I was going to the hospital.  This is funny, isn’t is always in the middle of the night, right!!?  I was pretty sure this was it, but we told her she should wait at home until I called her, if the hospital was going to keep me.  Daddy got on the phone and called his mom, your Granny Alta, and his dad, Papa Henry and his Aunt Lavada.  We told them all that we would call them later if we stayed at the hospital.

So off we go with suitcase in hand, garbage bag on the car seat, you know, just in case the water broke!  I asked your daddy to drive slow so that we wouldn’t get there too early, so he drove about 10 miles under the speed limit all the way to Sparks Hospital.

Your grandma had called just before we went out the door and said her and Martin would go ahead and meet us at the emergency room.  Your daddy and I arrived at the hospital and parked.  We both walked up to the door together and in.  Wow, your nanny was already there!  Guess we drove really slow!

Daddy and I signed papers and we walked up to labor & delivery area.  They gave us a room and got me a robe and put the external fetal monitor on my belly as well as the contraction monitor.  Good grief, I was wired like a transmitter!  The contractions weren’t real bad, but at the time they seemed pretty tough to me!!  They were mild enough that I could still talk through them.  We were all very tired with it being the wee hours of the morning, so I talked your nanny into going on home to sleep until we called her later – because it was looking like they might send me on home.  They agreed and left.

Around 3am they took me off the monitors and told me to walk the halls for 30 minutes and come back to be checked because I was only dilated 1.5 cm.  So off daddy and I went.  We went to the nursery and saw all the babies, several times, then came back about 3:45am only to be told I hadn’t made any more progress!!  They decided to send me on home with instructions that if my water broke, I was to come back for the duration.

So, your daddy and I left and decided to go to Denny’s to eat breakfast, by now it was 5am on February 3rd.  Yawn…..

IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BREAKFAST, my water broke – in Denny’s!!!!  I was SO embarrassed!

Daddy and I left and headed for the hospital again.  Sure glad I took the garbage bag with me for the seat because it was certainly getting wet!

This time it was the real thing!!  I went into some serious labor over the next few hours and you were born at 10:48am, all natural with absolutely no medication at all.

 A beautiful baby boy!!

Welcome to our family, don’t forget you are very loved.  Love, Mom”


Jeremy, I want you to know that I realize children are not “YOURS” just because they spent 10 months inside you and all the years from then on up, but it certainly feels like that.  But I knew better, I knew you were a being, just as me, in a tiny new body!

As I raised you, I ensured that you knew that I respected you as a real person in a little child body and I always gave you all the respect that any human would receive.  I never treated you as a “possession” of mine, because I knew you were not.

I have always been so happy you chose me for as your mom!!  Thank you, my Jeremy Andrew Powers.  I love you dearly.

Happy Birthday – and I hope you like your birthday surprise in my “grand finale”…….

Going forward, I plan to write periodically about things in life.  I’m going to be happy too and move forward.

I’m so proud and happy that you seem to have found true happiness in your life.
That is the most important thing, my Jeremy.

Love Always,

Your Mom

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