My little Jeremy, my second-born child. How in the world can you stand being separated this long from me & your sister?
What thoughts go through your head – or do they?
It’s been over a year now and I simply cannot understand how you can’t feel bitterness towards those who force you to have no communication with me. It truly seems that by now you’d start realizing that all those around you still have their family.
Jeremy, they don’t have any reality whatsoever with how it feels to have no mom or other family.
Yet, it is a fact that you are forced (with a threat of loss) to go on as if your mother and sister were dead! Think about that one.
Honestly, do you not even grieve?
Just 19 years old when Scientology gave you the ultimatum that it was your family or them. I know you felt “all grown up” at that age, but in fact, you were barely a man. Still NINETEEN……isn’t that technically still a teenager? My child.
I promise you right now that you will never ever understand the pain of losing a child until the time you have a child of your own.
I can’t even comprehend the thought that Matt Hanses (local Scientology Executive), the kid barely in his twenties himself, no children and very little real world wisdom – with the swipe of his vengeful hand – pronounced me and your baby sister EVIL, knowing full well you would never have a mother again if you decided to stay with your girlfriend, job and Scientology. Yet, Jeremy……he has no comprehension of losing a child. None. Zero. (And don’t let him make you believe he remembers such in a past lifetime either.)
Jeremy, he knew full well that he was taking my child away when he started on that path of revenge toward Jim, Heather and I. He knew you wouldn’t leave your job and girlfriend. Did you know that he arranged that job you had with Ronnie Jones? Matt Hanses actually pre-arranged that job for you because he needed to recruit Mike Jenne back on staff and needed to help find a replacement for him! Knowing you needed a job and had been needing one for awhile, he used you to get what he wanted and ensured you were well snagged.
I think about this every now and then…..he was pissed as hell at us for not believing all the stuff he tried to show us to prove that “we were being tricked” by evil people and that we were wrong to be leaving Scientology. He yelled a lot during the conversation. The last thing I heard Matt Hanses say was, “oh you’ll be declared alright, and I’ll be the one to do it”. It was complete revenge on Matt Hanses side, Jeremy!
Sad. Sick. Unbelievable actually.
Anyway, I think about you and wonder how in the world you can stand it. It would make sense if there had ever been any “bad blood” between us, or any teenage mother/son upsets or fights – there was hardly any! It brings only one thing to mind that could possibly answer this riddle for me…………you must be using Scientology “thought-stoppers”. Seriously, hear me out here. A thought stopper is anything used that “fully explains it” and causes you to not have to think about it any more.
JEFF HAWKINS’ BLOG
( I have added the word enclosed in the brackets)
“He’s an SP” or “She’s been declared.” Of course, this effectively stops any thought about the person or anything they might say. And one does not even think about whether the person really is or is not Suppressive. If the Church says they are, they are, and the matter is given no further thought. “Did you see the CNN program about Scientology?” is met with “Oh, those people are all declared SPs.” And that’s the end of it – no further thought is necessary. [An “SP” in Scientology is basically someone who is a danger to mankind and evil, simply because they label them as such. Someone who speaks out against Scientology or any enemy of theirs is an “SP”, but more importantly, it is a label meaning someone is very evil and a danger to mankind. When they say “be declared” or “been declared” it means Scientology officially labeling as evil and dangerous.]
“That’s entheta.” The perfect thought-stopping phrase. It means, “go no further, this is something dangerous, something you cannot read, listen to or discuss.” Anything critical of the Church is, of course, “entheta.” Anything critical of David Miscavige is, of course, “entheta.” Any complaint or negative comment is “entheta.” Scientologists know not to go there. They have, as Orwell put it, “the faculty of stopping short, as though by instinct, at the threshold of any dangerous thought.” “Did you see the St. Petersberg Times articles about beatings at Int?” “That’s entheta.” End of story.[Jeremy, this one stops you from thinking! It stops you from using your own logic! It’s a “thought-stopper” or better known as a thought control mechanism!]
“He’s got overts.” The perfect phrase to dismiss anyone who is critical or who complains. You don’t have to listen to or understand their complaint. You don’t have to think about why they might be complaining. You don’t need to worry about possible conditions that might bring about complaints. The handy phrase explains everything, and you don’t have to think any more about it. [Overts = Sins, in a basic definition. Insiders have been conditioned to believe that if someone complains they have transgressions and that is why they are disgruntled.]
“That’s Black PR.” Similar to “that’s entheta.” Any complaint about Scientology management or leaders is met with this phrase. And presto, you don’t have to give it any further thought. [“PR” like any other definition. Black meaning negative, means negative or bad PR]
“It’s Command Intention.” I recall this being used internally among staff, and maybe it’s gotten out to public as well. It means “Don’t question or think about what you are being told to do.” A similar one is “It’s a COB Order.” [Command Intention basically means international management direction, COB means Chairman of the Board (David Miscavige) and all three mean the same thing.]
“He’s PTS.” Let me be clear – it’s one thing to study a person’s case, taking into account all factors, conclude that they are PTS, and do a PTS handling to try to better their life. It’s quite another to throw this phrase out as a cliché to avoid thinking too deeply about things. For example, when Rex Fowler, an OT VII, murdered his business partner, the first thing out of some people’s mouths was “he’s PTS.” Not based on any case study or knowledge, just thrown out there to avoid thinking too deeply about what it might mean for an OT VII, supposedly Cause Over Life, to murder someone. I heard the same thing when OT VIII Steve Brackett committed suicide: “He was PTS.” I’ve even heard the same phrase used to explain the entirety of current Scientology management: “they are all PTS.” Before you use a phrase like this, ask yourself, “am I just throwing this phrase out as a rationalization or excuse to avoid thinking about deeper issues?”[Sorry, “PTS” is a term hard to fast explain, but I’ll reduce it quickly to mean someone who is under a lot of suppression and not acting rational in thoughts or behavior and Scientologists know that sort of person needs “handlings”.]
“She pulled it in.” Too often used by Scientologists to avoid thinking about or empathizing with the misfortunes of others.
I hope you take the time to read Jeff’s blog and read this whole article. This is one smart man who spent 35 years at the top of the Sea Org and I quite admire his intelligence and eloquence. I read his book, and Jeremy, it’s amazing what this man did for Scientology, unthinkable sacrifices he made for the “cause” and how committed he stayed for 35 years! In fact……the entire original Dianetics campaign of the 80’s …..was his doing. Reading his story is so illuminating one has to be highly brainwashed not to realize there is much amiss. Jeremy, there was so much we were not allowed to see, behind the scenes. If public saw it, it’d be damning.
But you know, I maintain that you have the right to your own beliefs and religion. You have the right to belong to any organization you want to belong to……as a free American. Just because I no longer support Scientology doesn’t mean that I think you shouldn’t. The thing I’m against is the dictatorship involved wherein you are forced to act as if I and your sister are dead!!!
That ONE point keeps me fighting. You told me, “mom, fight this”. That is what I am doing. I’m fighting that they have the right to keep us separated just because I don’t want to belong to that organization anymore! Honestly, if they would just stop that one suppressive act, I wouldn’t give them another two thoughts. Our lives would go on as regular families and you could go on about your Scientology quest as you see fit. It’s your right.
I love you. Nothing will ever change that.
You are safe to communicate to me, I would never let them know you talked to me.
I know they are dangerous to your current life and comfort level with Sarah.
I wouldn’t harm you, Jeremy. You do deserve to be happy too.
Some religions convince you that if you “do wrong” you’ll burn in hell
or something like that,
Scientology makes you believe that you’ll ruin your relationship
with your girlfriend if you don’t tell her everything.
Do you tell her everything now?
Honestly? Everything? I doubt it.
Has it ruined your relationship?
Can you pick up your phone and call me? Or does she spy on you?
Three One Four – Five Five Eight – Two Three Zero Eight
or email me at
meshell.little at g mail dot com.
I leave you tonight with this assignment. Read the “Creed of Scientology” and ask yourself if they are following it. Think carefully about your answer, look at what has happened to me. I’ve lost my child because I decided not to support them anymore, and because I dared to utter my beliefs to that fact.
Your Mother –
You Can Do It
And listen to your heart.
You can do it.
You can reach that goal.
You can make that new reality
instead of accepting things
the way they used to be.
You can do it.
All of our highest hopes are
Nothing will hold you back but
your own fears.
And if those fears were created
by you, they can be
dealt with by you…
and said good-bye to.
You can do it.
Say it to yourself, and believe it
in your heart.
Make every single day
a positive start
leading to a better and
You can do it.
You really can.