Archive for December, 2011

Your Grandma’s Present from Scientology

Well, I thought you should know what happened to your grandma, but before I tell you what happened, I want you to read a quote here from the Founder of Scientology – here he is talking about “scientologists” in general.   (Thank you Jane for posting this).


Attitude and Conduct of Scientology
(4th London ACC, 3rd November 1955)
straight from L. Ron Hubbard
(emphasis added):

“…the arduous lesson along this line is that no-communication lists (meaning lists of those who are not supposed to be communicated to),
revocation or suspension of certificates,
court actions of any kind, whatsoever, within the realm of Scientology and so forth,
is not only difficult to do but does not work.
That’s just the end of it.
It just doesn’t work.
It’s for the sea gulls.
That might work in Gestetner Limited or Westinghouse, but it does not work in Scientology.
Got that?”

“It’s because they are people of good intention.
And by saying that these people are not fit to associate with us anymore,
we have told a lie of magnitude.

This is not true.
It’s never true.
You got it?”

“Our inability to understand the actions of other Scientologists has a very fascinating barrier.
The limitation on our understanding is simply this:  we say they have bad intentions, and that is a lie.
Got it?”  (interpretation here is that the barrier to understanding the actions of other Scientologists IS stating, or thinking that they have bad intentions – because it is simply not true, it’s a lie).

“So the whole situation is liable to enturbulate around that postulated bad intention.  (around that LIE).
That’s what enturbulates the situation (the lie that they have bad intentions).
That makes a lie.
The situation then becomes unsolvable, because we’ve entered a changing factor called a lie into it.”

“The most valuable asset we have, actually, is our ability to understand, to do the right thing, to be kind, to be decent.”

“Well, I hate to unsettle a very stable datum, if it does unsettle it.
But the only way anything ever does resolve is by letting your own kind heart reach through.
That’s the only way it ever does solve.
And it never solves by being tough.”

“What do we really have of value in the organizations of Scientology?
The only thing we have of value, actually, in Scientology, is an understanding of life,
increasing ability to communicate,
a good concept and grip on reality
and the ability to like guys.
That’s all you got.”


That is what L. Ron Hubbard has to say about it all.  Yes, it would apply both ways, of course.  I’d also state there are many many things he said about it all – and I promise you he contradicted himself just as many times.  That isn’t the point, the point is that someone can show you something he wrote that “cancels” this.  I refer you back to read “KSW1”


So What Happened to Grandma?

Well, yesterday the Director of Special Affairs, (Ellen Forney) and Jill James (whatever post she now holds) showed up at our front door.   According to Heather, they knocked and rang the bell for about 5 mins until Grandma finally heard it from her home, downstairs.
Here’s Grandma, 71 years old, being greeted by a stone-faced and hollow-eyed Jill James with 3 sheets of paper, goldenrod in color, declaring her an “evil person”.  Do you wonder if it was because she refused to disassociate with her only daughter & granddaughter?

Jeremy, they came here just to ensure that she knew her status with them.  Their stated purpose was for her to read the lies they published about her on that goldenrod and to sign a piece of paper stating she knew. —  I am quite thankful she did NOT read the garbage piece of shit, as it’s always full of lies and deception, and she knew it would greatly hurt her!

You know how tender-hearted your Grandma is.  She truly does wear her feelings are on her sleeves.

Thinking about this, it seems only apparent that they came to our home exclusively to UPSET her by having her read the horrible things they published about her so her friends of 20+ years would think very badly of her.   What other reason could there be for their actions?  She hasn’t had anything to do with that organization for over a year.    Why else would they have driven 45 minutes out to our home on a Thursday before 2pm?

I’m thinking it took them this long to issue the goldenrod on her because they had to comb over every single error or mistake she’s ever made and figure out how to stick it in writing with twists making her look evil and making it appear her mistakes were evil intentions!!  Good god, when she told me it was THREE pages long, I about flipped!

Jeremy, your grandma was on staff for over 10 years.  She was known by all public in the area as being one of the most caring, loving, and unselfishly giving people on staff.  Your grandma was a “care-taker” of all the guys there – even at her age!   Before that, she worked for 5 years helping watch staff children (13 of them) when your dad and I were on staff!  Do you think the Saint Louis public who read her “declare”  will believe it?  I hope common sense kicks in!  Sadly, I don’t count on it.

Do you believe it, Jeremy?  If you don’t, then where is your personal integrity on this?  Why would you continue to live as if your entire family is dead?


It’s Sarah.  Sad.  All for a woman.  Sarah would leave you if you decided that nobody, short of God, could come between you and your family.  You know for sure they would declare you too if you decided you love your family and were going to re-connect to us.  You know that Sarah would leave you.  Because Scientology dictates that you all cannot associate with us “bad evil people”.


Here is what L. Ron Hubbard said………”You should upgrade your idea of what an SP is. Man, meet one sometime! A real one! A real monster…. Well, in all the time we’ve been around here we only had one SP that I know of. One real SP that was on staff…. And I don’t know of another single SP that we’ve ever had on staff. Isn’t that interesting. You see all these SP orders and so on… Don’t throw it around carelessly, because this is a very exaggerated condition, SP.” LRH, “About Rhodesia,” lecture, 19 July 1966, Saint Hill Special Briefing Course tape transcripts, Lecture Set 421-434, pp. 223-224



Christmas Came & Family Portraits

Jeremy, we missed you this Christmas.

As you can see, we did get our family portraits done.  It was hard to just go on and do it without you.  Bless her heart, Nanny suggested we take one of your old photos and superimpose it on these.  We opted not to.  Besides the only photos we have of you are almost two years old now!

We had a good time.  Ashton was so excited for Santa to come!  You should have seen his face on Christmas morning!  Lo and behold, Santa knew where Ashton was this Christmas!!

He is completely adorable.  So well mannered and smart!  You’d absolutely LOVE spending time with him.  Hearing him call you UNCLE JEREMY, priceless.

Jeremy, you have a lot of family who love you.  We will always love you.

Watch for my next post and I’ll share Christmas with you.  I took a few pictures.  Not a lot though.

Love Always, Your Mom….

Holiday Season Is Here-Thinking of You

Jeremy I hope you’re reading this blog.  I hope somehow you’ve found it to keep in touch.  But, in that case, I’m sorry I was so upset on my last posting.  Seriously, some days I just lose it!  Losing my son because the Church of Scientology requires that you never acknowledge my existence again is such an unbelievable experience for me it bewilders my imagination!  So, I’m sorry for the times I blow up on this blog.  This seems to be where I can freely vent and that is what it’s for, partially.

We are especially missing  you this year, since we haven’t had any contact with you in over a year.  Your stocking is hung on the mantel.  I think Heather would give up all her xmas gifts just to spend it with you.  I’m sure she would.  She said once that she would just hide in a closet and not say a word, just to see your face again.  Sure wish we had some recent pictures.

2009 – Christmas past…..last one I spent with you…..I remember we had a lonely Christmas that year because Heather was gone to the Sea Org at that time, trying get away from there.  They wouldn’t let her leave.  We missed her so much, remember?  We did a really funny video for her!!  I’m forever thankful she made it out of there.


2008 – Christmas past… of our happiest because we were ALL together.  OMG, this is the year you were sitting on the couch with the pillow in your lap and Heather reached over and yanked the pillow off your lap as your hand came down fast and hard to advert her stealing your pillow – only to make hideous contact with your family jewels!  I swear, we laughed so hard we literally cried!!  Oh, not you, it hurt and we were not laughing because you were hurt, we were laughing because it completely looked like you just smacked yourself on purpose without anything to do with the pillow being taken.  Oh Jeremy, we still laugh about that one.  See that pillow on Heather’s lap…..bringing back memories?  We all laughed, but on the other side of the coin, I am sorry it hurt you.











We’ve been having fun.  I’ve been keeping the social calendar full of family fun things.  Last weekend we made a family trip out to Defiance to see the Daniel Boone home and village.  We did the candlelight tour at night and it was quite an experience.  It was chilly but there were bonfires, hot chocolate and holiday smells in the air.  It was a village set in the 1800’s and at each location we stopped, there were actors playing a part and acting out some scene from that time period.  We were “onlookers” who were supposed to be from the future, so we were not acknowledged.  Very cool.  My favorite part was the beautiful chapel.  It was so pretty and they had a choir singing – the acoustics in the building were amazing.  It felt like it was surround sound and I kept looking over my shoulder to see if someone was singing along.  At the end there was a gift shop.  I bought you something really cool!

We finally went to Brussels Illinois and ate.  Such a fun place where it’s quite different than most restaurants.  This one is a very old hotel and they serve your meal to you, like going home for momma’s fried chicken!  You sit down to a relish tray of pickled beets, corn relish, veggies, marmelaid, candied apple rings and a bowl of coleslaw.  They bring you out a plate of scrumptious sausages, a bowl of soup and hot dinner rolls.  Once you’re ready, the main course comes out, consisting of a plate of home fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, corn and even a bowl of chicken n dumplings!  You talk about a load of food, set back in the olden days feel.

Twilight, Breaking Dawn – wow.  We went to see Breaking Dawn and we loved it.  An amazing love story and I’m dying to see the next one.  LOL, I didn’t read the books but I’m sure I’ll read them after the final movie.  I was wondering if you and Sarah watched it.  I’m so hooked on it….if you saw it, did you see Bella’s engagement ring?  OMG, that ring, I loved it.  I’m a complete mess over it, I actually went out and found a boxed set of the ring replicated.  (rolling my eyes at myself!).  And the soundtrack is completely what I want.  There are some really great songs on it, like “A Thousand Years”….. great song!

My birthday is coming up next week, Thursday.  It’s one of the exciting ones for me….oh yes it is.  This year I’m getting another karaoke machine, and a nice one at that, since it was a combined present.  See, I know what it is because I picked it out.  I see it sitting in the box in the front room, but I can’t touch it until my birthday…..(breathe Meshell, breathe!).  Just think, if you were here, we could sing together.  Remember that one song you sang and put on YouTube?  Didn’t you make it up?  It was so cool, you did such a good job!  So, we’re going out to eat then home for the concert.  LMAO.  Oh, did I tell you it came with FOUR SETS of earplugs?  Yep.  Heather is working so it will be nanny, Jim and I and we’ll buy you dinner if you want to come along.  I didn’t hear a word from you last year.

We are having Christmas at Jim’s moms on the 17th.  They miss you a lot and none of this makes sense to them.  It’d be awesome if you wanted to come along, as you know there is always a lot of yummy food and fun!  Never a dull moment over there and you’re loved, wanted and missed.

Travis, Brittany and Ashton are coming for Christmas!  Bless their hearts, this will really help around here.  Heather is working most of the holiday, I guess it will make it better for her, I don’t know.  Anyway, we have beautiful fun plans for Christmas and you NEVER need an invitation to home.  Never.  We have tons of good food planned and you are very very loved.  Since you may not know the address, just call me….. 314-558-2308.


Wow, it’s been a really long time since you’ve seen your blood nephew, Ashton.  He is completely adorable.  One very cool being!  Just look at this smile…. You are his Uncle Jeremy.  I sincerely hope he will grow up knowing you.


Jeremy – you need to know that we all love you very much.  

I will always love you –

even when I’m so mad I yell at you

(on my blog, lol).

Even your old favorite kitty misses you.  He has become somewhat of a glowing eyed mess.  Actually, we think he has been revealing his alien heritage, what do you think?  Like, can you spot the cat here?


After Christmas, New Years Eve, we are headed over to Jim’s dad’s.  It’s his 82nd birthday (we think).  Remember how we used to play cards – so much fun.  Again, you don’t need an invitation to come.

I’m sitting here looking at this wondering if it’s even possible that I will be writing to you about Christmas 10 years from now too.  I wonder.  I need a crystal ball!

Poem for my children.  Travis, Heather and you, Jeremy –



The Best Way to Make It Through … Is to Listen to Your Heart 

In life, we have to 
make decisions
that aren’t easy.
We’re afraid that
whatever choice we make
will upset someone we love.
It is at these times
that we need to look inside
and listen to
the voice that’s inside us.
If we listen just to
the wishes of those around us
and ignore our own feelings,
we will not be truly happy.
Listen to what you know
is right
and stand on that,
because when you do,
you will be happy.

-Bethanie Jean Brevik



I love my children.  All of you.  I’m proud of you and I’m so happy to be sharing our lives together.  Jeremy is just “away” for the time being……. we all love you, Jeremy.


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