Thankful? No, today I hate you…

Today is a down day for me.  This is so unbelievable, most people can’t relate!

See, a few days back I sent you some important information in an email to your gmail email address.  The email was returned as undeliverable because the account no longer exists!  I know you had to consciously delete the account to ensure my emails don’t reach you! 

Never fear, I had one of your older email addresses and I just re-sent it to that one.  Whew, it went through just fine.  

Yesterday I needed to get some additional important information to you and sent an email to that older address and it comes back as a deleted account. 

Are you kidding me?  How clearer could this be that you deleted it so you would receive no comm from me?  WTF? I’m sorry, but this cuts like a knife through my heart.  Makes me so sad, I’m just not dealing well. 

You’re a complete jack-ass to treat me like this when I have NEVER done anything wrong to you or to anyone you love.  You do not have a personal beef with me (as your mother) and you know I have done nothing to you personally.  This hurts, Jeremy. 

You know the ONLY reason you are DISCONNECTED from me is because the Church of Scientology dictated that you must never associate with me again because I spoke negatively about them! 

Jeremy, I was dedicated to the organization for 22 years of my life and when I realized the corruption was beyond my ability to correct it – I left.  Don’t you think that decision was hard?  Don’t you think I researched till my eyes bled in order to KNOW I was doing the right thing?  Do you think I had an ounce of doubt before making a decision that would impact my whole life?  Jeremy, I had NO doubt about my decision and I have never regretted it for one minute.  I am correct. 

You would never believe all the people I’ve met who are so afraid of that organization that they would NEVER admit (publicly) they are also OUT!  I mean prominent people.  They know that their family could be ripped from them with threat of (hell fire and damnation) losing their heaven and eternity.  But the message is the same, Jeremy.  They came to the same conclusion I did.  Corruption and control.  I have conversations with these people.  There are A LOT of them.  They will never mention it out loud because untold harm could come to them.  Can you believe this? 

Every single person on this planet is in danger of this corrupt organization that hides behind “saving mankind” with “technology of life”. 

Every family can be torn apart if any ONE of them get involved with Scientology because that organization will require you or your children or spouse etc. DISCONNECT FOREVER from anyone who disagrees with it or criticizes it out loud (or until the person “comes to his senses” and degrades himself and his bank account to get “back in good standing”). 

The situation is out of control.  There are freaking HUNDREDS maybe THOUSANDS of families that have been horribly negatively impacted by your so called “church”.

Enough on that.

Today I hate you.

I hate you for your selfishness. 

I hate you for what you’ve done to your sister who misses you so much she cries. 

I hate you for what you’re doing to your father who truly might not be here long enough to see you come to your damn senses! 

I hate you for deleting me from your life because OTHER PEOPLE tell you I’m a bad person. 

Today I hate you because you cause me more pain than I deserve. 

Today, Jeremy, I hate you. 

I hope you get back what you deserve.  I hope your children grow up and decide that they don’t want anything to do with that sick organization that plays god with disconnecting families. 

When your children want to know why they don’t have a grandma/grandpa on your side of the family, no aunts or great grandparents – I hope they DISCONNECT from you and Sarah. 

I hope they speak out about the atrocity of this situation and get declared by that “church” as “bad people” like us – and you are not allowed to associate with them ever again!!!  You deserve this fate.

Wake the hell up!

Tomorrow I may feel differently, but today I hate you.  I really want you to know how bad this hurts.

Thanksgiving is next week.  I am thankful that karma will get you.  Today, I honestly feel this way.


7 responses to this post.

  1. As a Mom I totally hear you. And its so hard that kids can drive you to actually have (albet brief) moments of hate. I kick myself because I didnt teach my kid that groups can be dangerous. My kid has no education or data or comparible magnitude to evaluate what they are seeing.


    • I hear you Deb. In fact, just the other day I decided to drill into Heather’s head that if anyone (or organization) ever tries to come between her and her family to treat it as one of the biggest red flags around and step back. People of good intentions and organizations of integrity would NEVER try to split people from their families or friends – when these people are not actually bad people.

      I wish I had drilled this into their heads when they were small. I do believe Jeremy would have never allowed this had he grew up with this concept.

      So many families are wrecked because of this group. It amazes me that I never saw it.

      It goes on and on and on because those on the inside are afraid to research! Ugh.

      I’m sad that I lost my cool today. I swear to you I did feel hate yesterday and today. I hope it goes away.


  2. Posted by David J Mudkips on November 17, 2011 at 12:09 pm




    Why we fight

    Why we protest

    Why the cult must be dismantled

    You have my deepest sympahty, OP.


  3. And I thank you for fighting. More than you know, I thank you.


  4. Meshel, I do feel and see your pain though I cannot empathize. I too have two sons and I can never imagine the heart rending devastation of having one turning his back in such a manner by no fault of mine.

    I can only hope that by reason, inspiration, or an epiphany, Jeremy will return unscathed to his friends and family like the prodigal child.

    Take Comfort in the thought that Jeremy is such a talented, respectful, friendly, self respecting,hard working, and ambitious young man. He will return. This period is just one of his very many experiences to build his character in shaping him to his true form.

    On His return He will need ten times more love and acceptance from all of us, especially you.


    • Rich, I hope you’re right. It has been SO long already. Sometimes I think he is thinking he has nowhere to go. I guess he has no job again and on unemployment.

      Just sucks.


  5. Posted by Gary on January 18, 2012 at 1:07 pm

    I can imagine the pain you and your family have gone through because of this. We came very close to losing our two kids who were still in the SO after we had left. We knew we had to get them out so basically got them into the car one day and drove off. It took some time but they did realize the deception and lies of the cult and have resumed their lives and are doing well.

    I cannot imagine what our life would have been without them.


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