Today I Thought of You

Jeremy something happened that made me cry tears of joy!  Silly, actually…… and no, I didn’t get to see or talk to you!  Wish I could say more, but let’s just let it be said that as of today I at least know you’re alive and … I hope you’re well.

Thank god I know you’re okay.

That is the hardest part of all lines of communication being cut is not having a clue if you’re okay or if you’ve been hurt, in an accident, in a hospital, maybe dying or (shudder) dead!  It’s an absolute fact that there would be nobody who would tell me or any of your real family if you died.  

I know this doesn’t seem real to you, but honey – it is the fact.  I know people who have Scientology disconnected loved ones who died and they were never told.  I know it seems impossible to be this cold, but when you see it from their viewpoint, it makes sense.  (If you don’t think about it)!

“Dear Family, The examples you set for me have helped me set a lifes course.  Your value to this world and to me are beyond any words.  They say that a picture paints a thousand words.  While that is not near enough, I draw this with you all in my thoughts.  Love, Jeremy”

In early 2010 you created this photo shop picture. I posted it today because it makes me feel good knowing that this is how you felt.  There is no doubt that you meant it.  The day you created it you tagged your whole family in it.  It was a beautiful moment for me, and it made me cry with tears of happiness.  Until this past year, I’ve always felt very loved by you.

Simply unbelievable to think that even though you and I had no fight, no upsets, no harsh words, nothing – less than 6 months after you made this you would disconnect from every single one of us – completely!

My phone number is 314-558-2308.  Keep this because you never ever know when you might need to reach me.  Even though it’s my google voice number, you can still text me there as well.

My email is meshell.little at g mail and you are welcome to write to me without me responding – if you’d just write and tell me about your day, your life, your thoughts, your mood and anything else.

Having a “relationship” or “associating” with me has a completely different meaning than knowing what is happening in each other’s life, don’t you think?

If you get in touch me, via email, text or any other way (Facebook etc.) my promise to you is I will not breathe a word of it.  You are safe that I will not let it out that we have a communication.  I know you want your life with Sarah, and to communicate with me means she leaves you.  I don’t want to harm you or your lifestyle.

I love you, Jeremy.

If you truly and honestly do love me, please figure out a way around this suppressive disconnection order you’re under regarding me.   Your sister is NOT doing well.  This disconnection thing was a catalyst to her spiraling.  She is so precious, Jermey, please ask questions of yourself.  Don’t make excuses, don’t be “reasonable” about things that do not make sense.  Keep your own counsel and follow the creed of your religion.

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